Characters: 3 M, 1 F
Props: communion vittles for 3, and a BIBLE!
Art is standing CS, in front of 3 chairs. Laura and Steve enter SL after knocking on door.
(There is a knock at the door.)
ART:
(Yelling)
Come on in, guys!
(Laura and Steve enter, high-fiving Art.)
STEVE:
Hey ART, my man, what is UP?
LAURA:
Yeah, how ARE you?
ART:
I’m great!
And you guys?
STEVE:
I’m pretty good, but I have a feeling that I’m about to be a WHOLE LOT better!
LAURA:
Yeah, I know that’s right! I’m totally going through withdrawal right now, I definitely need some more of it!
ART:
Time to break out the good stuff! I’m getting a buzz just THINKING about it!
STEVE:
Yeah, man. Me too! It’s SO COOL!
LAURA:
COOL doesn’t even BEGIN to describe it!
There’s NOTHING better!
ART:
I can’t wait to get another rush!
LAURA:
It’s such a great high!
STEVE:
It's got to be the most mind altering substance in the WORLD!
ART:
And I got it right here, guys!
(Retrieves Bible from where it has been hidden from view, and holds it up high.)
ALL:
(in awestricken voices)
THE BIBLE!
LAURA:
Let’s READ!
All take seats, in this order from the AUDIENCE’S view:
ART LAURA STEVE
(front row view)
(open bible to marked page if desired scriptures are to be read. If not, open to Proverbs or Psalms or such…)
ART:
(Reads two verses.)
ALL:
WHOA!
STEVE:
That’s some GOOD STUFF!
LAURA:
Yeah, I want some MORE OF THAT!
(Art passes Bible to Laura, who reads two verses.)
ALL:
WHOOOAAAA!
ART:
What a TRIP!
STEVE:
God is SO cool!
LAURA:
And Jesus… man, Jesus is AWESOME!
STEVE:
All right, my turn!
(Steven resumes reading, he reads THREE verses and is interrupted by Art, if no specific verses are chosen then Art will know to interrupt by Steve clearing his throat after finishing the third verse.)
ART:
STEVE, hold up my man!
STEVE:
What?
LAURA:
You’re messing up the rotation!
ART:
Yeah, you know how it goes… read, read, PASS!
STEVE:
Oh yeah, sorry guys! But this stuff is SO GOOD, I can’t help but want more!
LAURA:
I know what you mean, Steve. I LOVE reading about God, and JESUS!
ART:
Say, how about we EAT and DRINK a little Jesus? (Art breaks out a plate with communion on it)
STEVE:
Cool!
LAURA:
That’s a great idea, Art!
ART:
Let us all pray, and partake of the goodness of Jesus!
(all spend 5 seconds in prayer, then eat cracker and drink juice)
ART:
Wow, what a feeling!
STEVE:
What a RUSH! I LOVE rembering the Lord's sacrifice for us, with communion!
LAURA:
Now that we’ve read a little Jesus, eaten a little Jesus and drank a little Jesus, how ‘bout we SNIFF a little Jesus?
A & S:
SNIFF a little Jesus!
ALL CHARACTERS SNIFF EACH OTHER
ART:
My Steve, don’t you smell JESUSY today!
STEVE:
Why yes, Art, I smell the sweet scent of Jesus all over you, too! And Laura, you smell even more Jesusy than usual!
LAURA:
Why thank you, Steve! I HAVE been READING a lot more about JESUS lately!
ART:
And now, it’s time to PUMP a little Jesus!
L & S:
PUMP a little Jesus!
(Art gets bible and proceeds to pump it over his head like a weight two times, then passes it to Laura, who does the same, and she passes it to Steve, who pumps it three times)
ART:
PUMP, PUMP! (pass)
LAURA:
PUMP, PUMP! (pass)
STEVE:
PUMP, PUMP, PUMP
ART:
STEVE!!!
STEVE:
Oh yeah, sorry. Pump, pump, PASS! Here you go, Art!
(passes bible to Art, they do this once more speaking the following dialouge as they “pump”)
ART:
FEEL THE BURN! (pass)
LAURA:
I can feel JESUS pumping through my veins! (pass)
STEVE:
Boy, that feels good!
(Pumps twice slowly, looks at others who aren't paying much attention, and pumps it REALLY FAST for a 3rd time.)
ART:
Aw yeah. I love to READ about Jesus.
LAURA:
And EAT a little Jesus.
STEVE:
And DRINK a little Jesus.
ART:
And PUMP a little Jesus!
STEVE:
And SNIFF a little Jesus!
LAURA:
There’s nothing better than…
ALL:
Getting high on JESUS!
ART:
And, to save the best for last… let’s TALK to Jesus!
L & S: nodding and ethusiastic
TALK to Jesus! They all bow their heads in prayer
-- YOU CAN END THE SKIT HERE, OR CONTINUE ON WITH THE EXTENDED ENDING BELOW, WHICH FEATURES AN APPEARANCE BY NONE OTHER THAN... JESUS! --
(all bow heads to pray, saying things like, “I love you Lord, praise you Jesus, Thank you God”..)
(Jesus Enters SL and goes over and puts his hands on his “junkies” who look up in awe.)
S & A & L:
JESUS!!!
JESUS:
Hey hey, what’s up my junkies?
I’ve come to take you back to my crib!
Man, just wait until you see it, it’s dope -- the BOMB DIGGITY of all BOMB DIGGITY’S!
STEVE:
Jesus, you’re so awesome!
LAURA:
Yeah, and I totally dig your hair, Jesus.
ART:
Jesus, you are so totally worth being addicted to!
JESUS:
Well, thanks! You guys are some of my tightest homies, and I tell you what, when we all get back up to heaven, we are going to have the phattest party EVER, the party of ALL PARTIES! A PARTY THAT NEVER ENDS!!
ALL: (
SHOUT FOR JOY!)
JESUS:
Just come with me, we’re on our way! Right out this door! (Jesus points junkies out the exit SR, then turns to address the audience)
And YOU, I mean ALL of you, are invited to my bomb diggity party, too.
I hope you accept my invitation... and become some Jesus Junkies, too!
I see that some of you already ARE.
But, the PARTY is about to start. And I hope to see ALL of you at it!
