Characters: 2 M
SALESMAN is enthusiastic, positive minded, a Christian.
JACK is down in the dumps as he walks past the car lot.
CAR is pantomimed, FORMS and TRACT can be pantomimed as well or you can really use paper/a tract if you prefer.
SALESMAN:
Hello, Sir. May I interest you in a BRAND NEW CAR!?
JACK:
(looks car over.)
That’s a nice car. Too bad I’m broke. (starts to walk away)
SALESMAN:
(mega excited)
YES!! That’s AWESOME!!
JACK:
(turns to face Salesman)
Excuse me?
SALESMAN:
You’re BROKE! That’s AWESOME!
JACK:
Uh… how’s that?
SALESMAN:
That’s awesome because THIS car is NO MONEY DOWN, and NO PAYMENTS for an ENTIRE YEAR!
JACK:
Really?
SALESMAN:
Really! It sounds right up your alley!
JACK:
(looks inside car)
Automatic windows.
SALESMAN:
Yep.
JACK:
CD Player.
SALESMAN:
Yep.
JACK:
Leather Interior.
SALESMAN:
Oh yeah.
JACK:
Man, I’d love to own a car like that. But there MUST be a catch.
SALESMAN:
Nope, it’s NO MONEY DOWN, NO PAYMENTS for an ENTIRE YEAR!
JACK:
That just sounds TOO GOOD to be TRUE.
SALESMAN:
It’s TRUE!
JACK:
Okay, well, what are the monthly payments after one year?
SALESMAN:
Don’t worry about that! Payments are an ENTIRE YEAR away!
JACK:
Yeah, well, I’m not sure my credit is good enough for… something like this
SALESMAN:
But it MIGHT be!
JACK:
Yeah, gee, I don’t know…
SALESMAN:
…Come on, uh… what’s your name?
JACK:
Jack.
SALESMAN:
Jack! Jack, old buddy old pal, why don’t you go ahead and fill out these forms and we’ll see if you qualify! It’s worth a shot, right?
JACK:
I suppose. (writes on paper.) Hey, I can barely read this small print down here.
SALESMAN:
Oh, that’s nothing.
JACK:
Monthly payments of EIGHT HUNDRED EIGHTY EIGHT DOLLARS AND EIGHTY EIGHT CENTS. 900 bucks a month!? That’s INSANE!
SALESMAN:
But you have ONE WHOLE YEAR to save up your money before you have to pay a dime!
JACK:
It’s a HONDA ACCORD, man. Not a bling bling Bentley! It’s nice and all, but I can’t afford to pay that much a month on a car!
SALESMAN:
Well Jack, let’s see if you qualify and maybe I can get you into something else with lower monthly payments.
JACK:
(throws up hands)
Alright.
SALESMAN:
(walks out for a moment, while Jack stares into space, picks his nose, jeopardy music plays, whatever is funny to pass a few moments. Salesman comes back shaking his head.)
Dude, your credit BLOWS!
JACK:
I told you.
SALESMAN:
You owe a thousand dollars on a gold plated toilet that plays “Dust In The Wind” every time you flush it?
JACK:
Hey man, don’t dis my toilet. It’s cool.
SALESMAN:
Well, Jack, I’m sorry I couldn’t hook you up with a ride.
JACK: (sighs) Yeah, me too. (shrugs) Story of my life. (starts to walk away)
SALESMAN:
Hey Jack, wait a minute… how about a free gift?
JACK:
What?
SALESMAN:
Could I interest you in a free gift?
JACK:
NOTHING is free.
SALESMAN:
Oh, but you’re wrong!
JACK:
What is it, then?
SALESMAN:
The free gift of eternal salvation! (hands tract to Jack, who reads it.)
JACK:
(laughs) You must be out of your mind. (reads tract and mutters.) “Accept Jesus into your heart. Be forgiven for your sins.”
Yeah, right.
SALESMAN:
Jack, Jesus willingly died for your sins. That’s how much he loves you, and he wants good things to happen in your life!
JACK:
Whatever. I’m sure there’s more I have to do than just “pray to Jesus” to have eternal salvation. So what is it? Sing a thousand hymns, sacrifice a lamb, be a perfect angel all of the time? I… I can’t do that.
SALESMAN:
What? You don’t have to do anything like that!
JACK:
I don’t?
SALESMAN:
Nope! You just have to want to know him and accept his love, receive his sacrifice and repent of your sins, and…
JACK:
(interrupting)
Ah, Sins! Yeah, I don’t think that I would even qualify for eternal salvation.
I’ve been a very bad boy.
SALESMAN:
Jack... that’s all good!
JACK:
All GOOD?
SALESMAN:
YES! Jesus died for people just like you! People who’s lives are full of sin and turmoil, who are emotionally distraught, who are broke because they blow their money on singing toilets!
JACK:
It doesn’t sing, it just plays a tune!
SALESMAN:
Dude, whatever. Jesus can bring you hope, and more joy than your singing toilet ever will!
JACK:
But, there must be more to eternal salvation than that. There must be some kind of cost.
SALESMAN:
Only your love and your time, and wanting to do God’s will in your life. And when you invest some of your time and love into God, you reap a LOT.
JACK:
Well, I don’t know. I don’t have time to go to church all of the time. I don’t have money to tithe. I don’t have any nice suits to wear to church. I don’t know any scripture from the Bible. It would all be so… weird.
SALESMAN:
(excited)
You can come to MY church!
JACK:
What’s your church like?
SALESMAN:
Well, for starters, the people there care more about YOU than about what you wear!
There’s rockers and Goths and sweet little old ladies and businessmen like myself but most people dress, well, like you’re dressed.
JACK:
Hmmm. Well, I’ll think about it.
SALESMAN:
(writes info on piece of paper.)
Here’s my number, call me sometime and we can talk more about God. Oh, and the address to the church. It’d be great to see you there, Jack.
JACK:
Well… thank you… uh, what’s YOUR name?
SALESMAN:
_______. (Say real name.)
JACK:
_______, (salesman’s name) this is very kind of you. But… would you be able to, um… give me a ride?
